El Paso ‘Botched Crotch’ Smuggling Operation Caught By CBP

Before getting into the details of this story, a quick warning…

YOU SHOULD NEVER TRY TO SMUGGLE FENTANYL INSIDE YOUR SEX ORGANS!

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According to U.S. Customs and Border Patrol, “several” women were recently stopped trying to smuggle fentanyl wrapped inside condoms in their private regions.  This is illegal and also very, very dangerous.

EMT Nico Adjemian told us what would happen if a condom full of Goodfella were to bust open inside your bajingo:

“The result would be the same as with heroin: Extreme poisoning, depressed respirations, soon to be followed by certain death.”

For the record, “body-packing” dangerous narcotics can also be deadly even in the non-reproductive organs see: “stomach;" also, “anus."

The recent incidents occurred at different points of entry (HA!) into El Paso and each individual stopped were separate incidents.  According to CBD the points of entry (LOL!) included the Port of Ysleta, the Paso Del Norte Border Crossing, and the Bridge of the Americas Border Crossing. In the case at the Bridge of the Americas, the smuggler was a 19-year-old pregnant woman.

In a quote from CBP’s Hector A. Mancha,

It’s is tragic that people are willing to put themselves in these dangerous situations. This synthetic opioid is so powerful…the consequences could be life-threatening.

----Hector A. Mancha, El Paso Director of Field Operations, C.P.B. 

Seriously, don’t put drugs inside inappropriate orifices.  It’s super dangerous...