8 Little-Known Pieces of Advice for High Wind Days in El Paso
There is a high-wind warning today in El Paso with possible gusts up to SEVENTY miles per hour.
The city is advising residents NOT to put out their recycling bins if today is their trash day.
KFOX has a list of advice for extremely windy days that you can check out here.
Or…you can get the advice they DON’T include in the mainstream media.
Here are: Buzz’s Super-Helpful Tips for Very Windy Days!
(Don’t bother fact-checking these. I already did it for you. You’re welcome.)
1.) Every MPH of wind can lift exactly one pound of weight.
If you weigh UNDER 70 pounds, you’ll want to put some rocks in your pockets in case one of those 70-mile-an-hour gusts hit you.
2.) Use high-wind days to go on magical adventures!
If it gets windy enough, you might be transported into magical realms with whimsical denizens. (PRO TIP: Helps if you’re in Kansas and/or riding a bicycle)
3.) You can alter the direction of the wind using nothing but a Sharpie.
However, this only applies if you are currently the President of the United States.
4.) Windy days make for great golf!
IF you only play the holes where the wind is directly behind you, you can get an extra 25-2,000 yards of distance on your drives (see tip #1)
5.) Use the windy conditions to make hilarious jokes.
EXAMPLE: If a friend asks you “Do you have a windbreaker?” answer “Yes”. Then, fart.
(see also: “I haven’t been blown that hard since I was in the Navy!”)
6.) “Wednesday” got its name because it is the windiest day of the week.
7.) Wind is a great thing to throw caution into.
8.) The Spanish term for “high winds” is “mucho gusto”.