Van Horn Makes Space History, But All Some El Pasoans Notice Is the Rocket’s Shape

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos blasted into space in his own rocket Tuesday (7/20) from a site in the West Texas desert just outside the small town of Van Horn. By all accounts the ten minute trip to the edge of space dazzled spectators and space buffs, and was a historic event.

But all I could think the whole time was how much the Blue Origin New Shepard rocket resembled a man’s naughty bits.

I know, I know, I’m being juvenile; I’ll own it. But, scrolling through the El Paso internet I found that I wasn’t the only Beavis and Butthead watching because El Paso had jokes. Dong jokes. Because, let’s be real, that’s exactly what his rocket looked like.

Below you'll find my initial reaction to seeing the rocket for the first time, and a sampling of the comments and observations fellow cochinos El Pasoans made.

Mike & Tricia Mornings - Watching the Blue Origin Rocket Launch

Chris B
Looks like a giant (eggplant emoji)

Joe B ·
is it just me or is this thing really phallic? Blue Origin sounds like a new Viagara product offering doesn't it?

Cheryl A ·
At least it's not heading towards Uranus, that would have been super awkward

Mario B.
My child drew a picture of the launch and Facebook found it to be against its guidelines of nudity.

I Don't Know, Sir, But it Looks Like a Giant...

El Pasoans also noted the similarity with the rocket scene from the Austin Powers movie and were quick to quip with a quote or meme.

Isaac M
That looks like Johnson haha Austin powers just came to mind

Brittany S
It looks like a giant.. WOODY! LOL

The launch was as hysterical as it was historical to those of us whose minds sometimes dwell in the gutter. But, really, we shouldn’t be all that surprised; Bezos did make his billions delivering packages.