'The Beast' has been unleashed on El Paso

The Beast is the name of the newest and largest developed park in the city located at 13501 Jason Crandall on the Far East side. The Regional Park currently includes a community center, indoor pool, and water park, and when Phase 2 is completed and flat fields are added will encompass 92 acres.

That much acreage will make it approximately twice as big as Eastwood (Album) Park.

Its sheer size alone should tell you why they chose to name it The Beast Urban Park, but I think it was a missed opportunity by District 5 City Representative Isabel Salcido to make ‘fetch’ happen, to borrow a term from the "Mean Girls" movie.

She’s been trying to rebrand the Far East as "the Upper East Side" since early 2020 and naming it Upper East Side Urban Park would have forced us to call it that for all eternity. Now 'Upper East Side' will never happen. Not that it ever was. I mean, come on. Upper East Side? Aye aye. But, I digress.

Check out what Phase 1 includes:

• A natatorium. A whaa? I looked it up; it's a fancy way to describe an indoor swimming pool. This particular one houses a 50-meter competition-ready pool with a diving well and pool deck space for 400 competitors, as well as seating for up to 800 spectators,

• Community recreation center with gymnasium, indoor walking/running track, basketball court, computer room, rec game room, multipurpose classrooms, a kitchen, a dining area, and a reading room.

• Oasis Waterpark. The water park is scheduled to open later this summer; June, maybe July. It features El Paso’s only surfing machine as well as a meandering lazy river, climbing wall pool, slides, leisure pool, kiddie pool, cabanas and a café.

The Beast Urban Park - Eastside Regional Park in Far East El Paso

New Chamizal Community Center in South El Paso