Leave Mariah Carey Alone – Let’s Ban These 5 Christmas Songs
It's November 4 that I'm listening to Christmas songs. Yup, I've got my Christmas playlist already driving people crazy but I don't even care. As much as I love Christmas songs, these five should never have been recorded. They are the rock bottom worst Christmas songs ever.
5. Santa Baby by Madonna - The original version sung by Eartha Kitt is sexy but not in-your-face sexy. Madonna's 1987 version was recorded when she was still in her I-gotta-shock-the-whole-world phase. Oh, wait. She is still in that phase, but I digress. This version isn't remotely sexy and her her childish voice is icky and disturbing considering the song is about a woman who is trying to get shmancy gifts from her Santa.
4. Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy - It's a Christmas story for the ages - Grandma gets snockered on eggnog on Christmas Eve, wanders away from the family home, and gets found on Christmas Day with 'incriminating Claus marks on her back'. And Mike thinks 'Baby It's Cold Outside' is rape-y?
3. Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano -
2. O Holy Night by Christina Aguilera - Christina's voice is heaven-sent, but this crazy long version of O Holy Night is a candy cane striped mess. She seems to be auditioning for America's Got Talent and trying to show off every vocal exercise she can think of, and don't even get me started on some of her grunts and groans that sound completely inappropriate for a song about the birth of Christ. This is Xtina meets baby Jesus and baby Jesus loses.
1. Christmas Shoes by Newsong - No. Just no. Every cliche in the book was trotted out for this horrible song and I won't make you relive them. I would rather eat a whole fruitcake than listen to this song.