By now, you've heard of the adorable list that the Hanks High School administration has had to put up of alternatives to bad words.

Apparently faculty and staff at Hanks High School have had enough of their students cussing up a storm that they've had to come up with a list of alternatives to the F word or the S word.

The list includes classics like "shut the front door" or "kiss my grits"- it even has "tartar sauce" which all my "Spongebob" lovers will immediately recognize.

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It also has some very interesting, and creative ones like "Son of a bacon eater" and at the end, they suggest that if "all else fail" just use: Bob Saget, Pat Sajak, Alex Trebek, William Shatner or Darius Rucker. You can check out the list here.

All of us on the Morning Show were interested in the list, and we came up with some good ones ourselves- considering off air, we all have a potty mout. Buzz said his mom was never one to utter a bad word, and if something went wrong she would instead yell out "Oh, sugar!" which is adorable.

I immediately thought of that old Orbit Gum commercial, you know which one I'm talking about:

This commercial gave us great hits such as:

  • What the French toast?
  • Son of a biscuit eating bulldog
  • Doo Doo head cootie queen
  • Lint Licker (my personal favorite)
  • Stinky McStinkface
  • You Hoboken

This commercial was such a hit I remember being in high school and calling everyone a lint licker.

Of course, we had some great responses in our App Chat as well like:

  • I know people like to say “Shut your pie hole,” but I prefer plainly, “Shut your hole!
  • Fug Nuts
  • How about the movie Johnny Dangerously the way the mobster Moroney curses. “You fargain icehole!”

And, because we are in the Borderland, someone reminded us not to forget some great alternatives to Spanish cuss words:

  • For Joanna in Spanish hijo de du pink Floyd instead of hijo de su p*'@ madre or a la regis bernard instead of a la v@#&&

We also got a pretty good response on Twitter:

And, finally, someone decided not to get creative and instead fight for free speech!

Bad language is still free speech. F that!!

I like when people get creative with cuss words; a cuss word is kind of an easy reply- when you come up with alternatives it can really get a creative and colorful conversation going.

1989 WWF TV Taping in El Paso



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