Hallmark Christmas COVID-19 Movies You Know They’re Going To Make

The coronavirus outbreak has changed everything in our lives and you know it's going to change the way we watch movies. How will we ever watch two movie stars sucking face and swapping spit during a heavy kissing scene again? I can't even watch a regular commercial with all the non-social distancing going on without wanting to rush to the bathroom and wash my hands.

It's inevitable that movies will be made dealing with the coronavirus outbreak and all the things that have become normal like so much hand washing and wearing face masks just to go check your mail. Because of their lack of sexy times, the Hallmark Christmas movie makers will be able to deal with all the social distancing when they get back to making movies. I wonder what the post-coronavirus movies will look like, hmmmmm:

1. Christmas Zoom Chat - A merry mix-up happens when a small town baker and big city corporate architect end up in the wrong Zoom meeting. Sparks fly when she shows him that baking a perfect cake is like building a perfect building. Love almost doesn't last, however, when she qualifies for a tv cooking show competition and has to decide between jetting off to Paris at Christmas to film the show or help him design a high end patisserie. Will love fall flat or rise to new heights?

2. Christmas Eyes - Dan catches sight of Molly over the hand sanitizer aisle but can't tell if she's smiling at him because of her face mask. When he sees her again, he can see the smile in her eyes as she hands him the second to the last container of Clorox wipes. They fall in love from six feet away, their eyes saying all their lips can't until Christmas Eve. Two weeks of FaceTime and self-quarantine culminate in a winter wonderland walk in the park. Will they finally shed their masks and kiss and live happily ever after?

3. Christmas Trees, TP, or Me? - Sarah needs a Christmas tree for her office but she's sidelined at the store across the street in a line for toilet paper. Ben, the hunky owner of the lot, sees her staring at the trees and thinks she's looking at him. He crosses the street and from a socially distant distance asks her name. She tells him her dilemma and is smitten when he picks out the prettiest tree and delivers it to her office later that afternoon. He wins her heart when he Zooms her and shows her how to order toilet paper online.

I know this making fun of the terrifying situation we are all in, but I hope you know that I'm not making fun of anything but the silly romance of Hallmark Christmas movies. Here's hoping for better days.