Stupid News: Snortin’ Great Dane & the Drunk Owl

IT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUT OF A CHEECH AND CHONG MOVIE ... Several teenagers broke into a house in Silver Springs, Florida, earlier this week and as they searched the house looking for things to take, they thought they'd hit upon the ultimate score: A whole bunch of white powder!!! So they snorted it. Only it was CREMATED ASHES.

Yes, the criminal masterminds snorted the ashes of the home owner's late FATHER and two dead GREAT DANES. After they snorted the ashes and figured out they'd just taken in remains not drugs, they got the heck out of there.

The cops were able to track all of them down, and they’ve been charged with residential burglary. Here, now, are the criminal masterminds ...

GAS PASSER GETS HIS REVENGE ... A 21-year old man in Connecticut has been arrested for fatally stabbing one man and wounding three others at a party after a fight over his flatulence.

Marc Higgins of Bristol, Connecticut (above photo) was drunk at a house party, and apparently, couldn't get his emissions under control. The other people at the party started mocking him so he left the party and returned with a knife seeking his revenge. It would be ironic, and yet oddly fitting, if he got the gas chamber, no?

WHEN GOOD ANIMALS GO BAD .. 1.) Police in Pforzheim, Germany recently busted an OWL for public intoxication. They received a call about an owl staggering around in the middle of a street, with drooping eyelids, and no care at all for the cars speeding around him. Upon further investigation, police found two small bottles of schnapps near the owl. The owl was taken to a local bird expert who hydrated him until he sobered up, then sent him on his way. There's no word on where he got the alcohol.

This isn't the aforementioned owl, but I bet it looked all snookered like this ...

2.) The police in Bucaramanga, Colombia recently arrested a PIGEON for trying to smuggle reefer into prison. Turns out, the 1.6 ounces of the marijuana strapped to it’s body that was just a little too much cargo for the pigeon, and it was nabbed as it was struggling to fly over the prison wall. I guess you could say it couldn't get high enough! Hi-Yo!!! No, YOU shut up!