MADONNA CHOOSES WORDS CAREFULLY WHEN ASKED TO DESCRIBE LADY GAGA - CALLS ELTON JOHN AN 'A**': MADONNA much-hyped guest appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" aired yesterday, and in one of the better segments, Ellen asked her to give her responses to the people Ellen was going to name.

The list included BRITNEY SPEARS, PINK, RIHANNA, JLO, NICKI MINAJ ... and arch enemies LADY GAGA and ELTON JOHN! And while it didn't take long for Madge to opine about most of them, she paused for quite a while before describing GaGa. "Good voice," she finally said. And Elton? "Nice a**," Madonna deadpanned, echoing her previous response to J.Lo and Minaj.

KATIE HOLMES AWKWARD HALLOWEEN COSTUME MOMENT: KATIE HOLMES had an awkward run-in with a few Halloween partiers while dining at some trendy NYC resaturant over the weekend. The New York Post reports Holmes and daughter Suri were seated next to a group that included a guy dressed to look like TOM CRUISE. Oh, it gets better. Two of the women with the guy wore shirts that said “Save Suri” and “Free Katie."

A eye-witness tells the Post, quote, “When [Katie and Suri] sat down, [the other group] exchanged an awkward glance with Katie, but she kept her cool and didn’t say anything. The embarrassed Halloween crew quickly covered up the costumes before Suri got a chance to take a look.”

Speaking of Cruise ... Tom isn't going to press charges against the guy who was tased and arrested over the weekend after trespassing on his property. (PHOTO)

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images
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It turns out it was one of Tom's neighbors who apparently had too much to drink Sunday night and mistook Tom's house for his. Although the interloper was arrested and cited for misdemeanor trespassing before he was released, Tom's lawyer told TMZ Cruise has no plans to press charges. Quote, "Tom's not a vindictive guy. The guy was drunk. He didn't have a malicious intent."

LINDSAY LOHAN SHOWS US HER (STUPID) HURRICANE SANDY TWEET: Many celebrities are taking to the Twitter-verse to share their thoughts and concerns over Hurricane Sandy. But leave it to LINDSAY LOHAN to underplay a tragedy. Here's what she Tweeted: "WHY is everyone in SUCH a panic about hurricane (i'm calling it Sally). Stop projecting negativity! Think positive and pray for peace."

What? Not even KIM KARDASHIAN'S Tweet was that vacuous. At least she had the good sense to stick with the tried-and-true "I'm praying for everyone"

AVRIL LAVIGNE'S NEW MAN AND EX HUSBAND IN TWITTER SKIRMISH: A Canadian rockers civil war broke out this weekend on Twitter between Nickelback lead singer CHAD KROEGER and his fiancé AVRIL LAVIGNE'S ex-husband, Deryck Whibley. Whibley started the whole thing when he posted a photograph of he and his girlfriend dressed up as Lavigne and Kroeger for a Halloween party -- Whibley was dressed as his Avril, by the way.

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Kroeger returned fire with the following tweet: “Hey Deryck loved the costumes! We were going to dress up as you guys this years but all the parties had celebrity themes haha!” Sas! Advantage, Kroeger!

CELEBRITIES IN THEIR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES: The Hollywood elite were out in full force over the weekend in their Halloween costumes. KENDRA WILKINSON hit up the Playboy Mansion in a painted-on referee shirt ...

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Twitter
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CHRISTINA AGUILERA as, um, something candy-coated and slutty, KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST as a -- surprisingly -- non slutty mermaid and sailor, JENNY MCCARTHY as a strawberry, FERGIE dressed up in a skintight leopard costume, and "Glee" star MATTHEW MORRISON with his girlfriend as old-school Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears.

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