President Donald Trump called El Paso one of the most dangerous cities in the nation before we got our portion of the border fence built back in 2008. Sure, a barrier might have made crime go down a little make us a little safer, but let's be real, there are some very El Paso reasons why:

1. We fear The Chancla: Every good El Paso mom knows how to throw a chancla with such speed, accuracy, and force that she could take down a wildebeest. I hate to let you behind the curtain, but when you become a mom in the 915, they take you to a room in the hospital and teach you the fine art of chancla chucking. It's true. Google it.

2. Two words - Chicos Tacos: Those double orders with extra cheese catch up with you, and that makes us too tired and fluffy to take part in too much crime-doing.

3. Road construction: You probably could kill that crappy driver in front of you while sitting in traffic on the I-10, but because it can be such a parking lot, everyone would get a clear shot at you with their iPhone and then you'd be screwed because you couldn't get anymore Chico's.

4. FitFam: We all want to be on FitFam but not for breaking the law. It's better to be FitFam famous for our club gear than for getting thrown into the back of a cop car.

5. Family: No, not because we're all warm and fuzzy about our families, but because everyone knows everyone in this town. You mom's best friend's uncle's sister-in-law will see you being shady and next thing you know, you're facing the wrath of The Chancla.

A border wall? We don't need no stinkin' border wall!

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