The results are in, and good news, El Paso; we’re not one of the 10 Fattest City in America. Woo-hoo!

But hold off on having a Double Meat Whataburger in celebration and consider making it a salad instead, because although we might not be fat we’re still fluffy.

According to Wallethub’s 2017 Fattest Cities in America list, El Paso moves up from the 'more to love' #35 spot to a plus-sized #22.

Even worse, their data determined El Pasoans are not doing enough squats. In fact, we aren’t doing diddly squat.

Per their voodoo science, which takes into consideration various metrics like how active a lifestyle residents lead, El Paso has the third highest percentage of residents who are "physically inactive," which is just a nice way of saying we're a city full of chubby, lazy people.

Clearly I’m not the only one who can no longer tell where my body ends and the couch begins. But in my defense, I’m allergic to exercise. I get all sweaty and short of breath, and my heart starts racing when I do. Very dangerous.

Now, where’s the remote? Netflix ain't gonna watch itself, you know.

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