If you were an alien from another planet you would think that Christmas was all perfectly decorated Christmas trees and families gathered 'round a dining room table in perfectly matched Christmas sweaters.

We know that's not true, and neither are these five lies that Christmas commercials try to make us believe:


1. Surprise Car Buying - There is nothing like walking out of your amazing home to see an amazing bow on the roof of your amazing new $80,000 vehicle, but unless your spouse has cleared that crazy expenditure that will result in a $1,500.00 monthly payment, maybe you should keep the surprise Christmas present sprees to under a thousand dollars.

Taylor Dickson

2. Matching Plastic Containers - Every Christmas, plastic container makers try to make us believe that they have the perfect system for never having mismatched lids and bottoms ever again. We know they're lying. They know they're lying, but still, we believe. Suckers.


3. Electric Toothbrush - The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that a slim little buzzing battery operated appliance soon would be there, because there is nothing says Merry Christmas like an electric toothbrush.


4. Your cookies will be perfect - Perfectly frosted sugar cookies are a holiday staple but contrary to Christmas commercials, they are ridiculously time-consuming to make. Better to buy them from a profession and spend your time consuming them instead of baking them.

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5. Sexy Santa Lingerie - Yeah. There's an entire holiday designed around Victoria's Secret and it's in February. Sensible cotton panties and fuzzy socks - Google them. Buy them. Put them under the tree.

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