Stupid News:Machete vs. Pink Feather Duster & Green Plant Wasn’t a Christmas Tree

STORE CLERK FIGHTS ROBBER OFF WITH FEATHER DUSTER ... In Waltham, Massachusetts, two guys busted into a convenience store and - armed with a THREE-FOOT MACHETE and a gun - demanded the store clerk hand over the cash.
But the clerk didn't panic. Heck, he barely even flinched. He continued stirring his coffee, picked up the phone to call 911, then calmly reached for HIS weapon: a pink FEATHER DUSTER!!!
That was enough to SCARE off both the guy with the three-foot machete AND the guy with the gun. Police are still looking for the men.

HO, HO, HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, MISTER ... An unidentified man in Montabaur, Germany, answered the door of his home recently to find police standing outside. They told him they were there because they had received reports he might be in possession of marijuana.

He was cool, and co-operated with the officers turning over a few ounces of weed. As they were leaving, though, one of the officers noticed his Christmas tree wasn't a fir or a pine.

It was in fact a 7 foot tall marijuana plant with Christmas ornaments hanging all over it. Looks like Santa's going to have to add someone to the "Naughty" list.

REAL MAN OF GENIUS ... We've all seen enough movies and T.V. shows to know that once you commit a crime the first thing you have to do is get rid of the evidence, right?

Evidently, Herlin Mendez of Buena Park, California has never paid attention to this little detail because ten days after he allegedly held up a mini-mart in Irvine with a three-foot branch, an anonymous tip led police to him.
Inside Herlin’s mini-van, police found ... a three-foot tree branch. Sounds to me like he’s guilty of the STICK-up. Get it? You know, cuz he used a branch? No, you shut up!