Stupid News: Mummy Robs Store & Man Can Blame Arrest On His Negotiating Skills

MUMMY ROBS CONVENIENCE STORE ... Someone get BRENDAN FRASER on the phone, because a mummy robbed a convenience store in Pennsylvania the other day!!! OK, it probably wasn't an actual mummy. It may have just been a guy with cloth or gauze wrapped around his face as a disguise. But it COULD have been a real mummy!!!

Police say the "mummy" walked into the Exxon Buy N' Fly in Herminie, Pennsylvania at about 3:00 P.M. armed with a HATCHET, and demanded money. Police are still on the look out for him. It? He's been described as ...

SHOPLIFTING EXCUSE; HE LOST A BET ... 58-year-old Irwin Krakow of Millville, New Jersey was arrested for shoplifting from a Walmart.Security caught him with a USB card, two spoons, a nutcracker, a decorative tree, and a few t-shirts. Irwin confessed to the po-po he did it because he'd LOST A BET to some friends and had to either shoplift $50 worth of stuff from Walmart or run through the street naked. He chose he former. Oh, and to add insult to injury, the total value of the stuff he pinched was only $43.

 MAN ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO HELP A FRIEND OUT ... Gregory Murphy of Fort Walton Beach, Florida is facing a felony charge for buying CRACK, and he can thank his good friend and his own sharp negotiation skills. Gregory was with his friend Benjamin Bonds, and they were driving around in Benjamin's Buick so he could score some crack.

They pulled into a trailer park and were approached by a crack dealer, who unbeknownst to them, was actually an undercover cop. So Benjamin and the crack dealer/undercover cop start talking business, and Gregory - who it turns out had no interest in the crack himself - listened and felt like his bud was getting a bad deal. So he injected himself into the proceedings and took over the negotiations, finally agreeing on $60.

When Benjamin took possession, other cops swarmed and arrested both of them. Because Gregory involved himself, he got hit with the EXACT same charge as Benjamin: FELONY cocaine possession with intent to purchase a schedule two narcotic.