LACK OF SEX DRIVES WOMAN CRAZY: Cops in Iowa City, Iowa were called in to control a woman who went nuts when her boyfriend refused to share his down there parts with her. Police arrested 28-year-old Melissa Barbara Minarsich after she landed a couple of blows on her boyfriend, then ran outside and ripped a storm down pipe off the house.

According to the arrest report, she told police, "All I want is a piece of ass. Is that too much to ask?" Apparently, yes it is. And this probably won’t surprise you at all: cops said she smelled strongly of alcohol and her speech was slurred.