EVERYONE'S A CRITIC: A housekeeping employee at a German museum earned high marks for thoroughness, but low grades for art savvy after scrubbing a one million dollar piece of art off the museum's floor because, like most of us, she couldn't tell the difference between modern art and a mess.

The Ostwall Museum in Dortmund, Germany had a modern-art piece called "When it Starts Dripping From the Ceiling", which consisted of a bunch of wooden slats over what appeared to be a dried puddle on the floor. Cleaning personnel had been warned to steer clear of the display, but evidently one of them didn't get the memo, and mopped and mopped until the piece was virtually gone.

The obvious solution would be to have the artist fix it. Unfortunately, he can't because he DIED in 1997 so replacing it isn't really an option.