Mike’s the Stupid News – Man Calls 911 over Beer Dispute, Hits on Female Operator

It started off as a complaint call to 911 about an ex-wife bogarting five cans of beer, and ended with an obviously drunk Ohio man hitting on the operator.

Police in Avon Lake, Ohio found John Bansley outside a food mart with an open 16-ounce can of Milwaukee’s Best Premium beer and a cardboard sign reading “bus ticket or beer.”

They cited him with having an open container and dropped him off at his ex-wife's house, giving her custody of the remaining five cans of Milwaukee's Best. Shortly thereafter, John called 911 to report that his ex-wife wouldn't give him back his beer. The female dispatcher told him to hang tight and a cop would help resolve everything before adding, “If you need anything else, call me back, OK?” And THAT'S the moment Bansley picked to try and make a love connection. "Well, you got a personal phone number?” he said. “You sound kinda pretty."

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She laughed it off, and minutes later the responding officer arrived. According to the police report, he determined no emergency existed “other than John wanting those five Milwaukee’s Best beers back,” and arrested him for misuse of 911. He didn’t get the dispatcher’s digits, but he did get five days in jail.

Listen to the 911 call: