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Mike’s the Stupid News: Man Arrested for Having Sex with Pool Raft

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN INFLATABLE DOLLS DON’T DO IT FOR YOU ANYMORE: 32-year-old Edwin Tobergta of White Pine, Tennessee was arrested in Hamilton, Ohio after concerned citizens called the cops about a guy in an alley with his pants around his ankles, doing ungodly things to a pink, inflatable pool raft. 

When police got there, Edwin didn’t deny his crime of passion. He told the cops he was, quote, “doing it but only because he has a problem and that he needs help.” His grandmother later concurred saying Edwin, quote, “has…always had a fascination for plastic.”

The Smoking Gun

Although it is not illegal to have relations with pool objects of any color, it is highly inappropriate to do so in public. Tobergta was arrested on a public indecency charge and court ordered to seek mental health services for his freaky fetish.

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