Mike’s The Stupid News: Drunk Driver Crashes Into a Pole Because She Made #2 In Her Pants & How Many Times Per Day Do Men Really Think About Sex?

Drunk Driver Crashes Into a Pole Because She Made #2 In Her Pants ... Police in Sebastian, Florida got a call recently about a driver who'd just slammed her car into a pole. Upon arriving at the scene, they found 50-year-old Sheila Ann Keatings.

This is where I must warn you: you CANNOT un-read what you’re about to read, if you choose to read further!!!

Sheila was standing next to her car with her shorts and chones around her ankles, and a trail of doody leading from the driver's seat to where she was standing. The cops were not only disgusted, but curious, so they asked. She admitted she'd been drinking and, as she headed home, could no longer wait to … how should I put this? … Drop a deuce.  The stains on the driver’ seat were from where she started the job. The shorts and chones around her ankle were because she got out to finish the job after crashing into the pole.

Let's Talk About Sex ... Researchers at Ohio State University wanted to know how much young adults thought about sex on a daily basis, so they gave tally sheets to college students and asked them to write down every time the thought crossed their mind.

What they found was that college age men don’t think about sex every seven seconds like the old myth suggests. But they do think about sex an average of once an hour. Surprisingly – they found young men think about food and sleeping almost as much as sex. Then you get to be my age and you think about food and sleeping during sex!!! Hi-Yo!!! No, YOU shut up!!!

An Iowa woman due in court for her shoplifting trial, made sure to warn a policeman to hurry up and write her a ticket – as he was questioning her for allegedly shoplifting lip gloss!

Police were called to a Super Saver in Council Bluff, Iowa by a store clerk who told them he had seen her stuff some items into her purse. As she was being questioned by police, the as yet unidentified woman got a little snippy, telling the cop to hurry up and “get her ticket.” The officer asked why she was in such a rush. She replied she didn’t want to be late for court. When the officer asked her why she had court, the woman paused, and then admitted it was for shoplifting.

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