OUCH: This one is from a not-very-reliable British tabloid, but it’s just too good to pass up. A Chinese man recently paid a visit to a spa that uses live eels as part of some treatment that’s supposed to cleanse your skin. What happens is you lay in a bathtub, and the eels crawl around and eat your dead skin. Ewww, I know. Anyway, as the Chinese man was bathing with the live eels, one of them swam up his junk and ended up in his bladder!!! This is exactly why I don’t bathe with eels.

The man was rushed to the hospital and doctors performed a three-hour operation to extract the six-inch eel from his bladder. The surgeon, Jin Wang , Yes, Wang!!! explained what happened. Quote, "The diameter of the urethra is [narrow], but because eels are quite slippery its body worked as a lubricant and so it got into the penis smoothly." The man is expected to recover fully. I'm not so sure I will, though.