Finally! Lady Gaga has released the prelude to the long-germinating (make that “Germanotta-ating”) video for ‘Marry the Night.’ She’s been teasing this bad boy forever, and released a still photo of herself being wheeled on a hospital gurney last week.

This minute-and-a-half long precursor features a Gaga voiceover, as she is being wheeled on that same gurney. Wearing a short, Louise Brooks-style brown bob with bangs and bright orange lipstick, Gaga declares: “When I look back on my life, it’s not that I don’t want to see things exactly as they happened. I prefer to remember them in an artistic way. Truthfully, the lie of it all is much more honest because I invented it.”

She then spouts off a few statements about clinical psychology’s assertion that “trauma is the ultimate killer” and the thought-provoking assessment that “memories are not recycled like atoms. They can be lost forever.” The Mother Monster calls her past “an unfinished painting” and then proceeds to go on a fashion rant.

Stay with us – it’ll all make sense in the end. Her logic and non-linear thought is beyond compelling.

Gaga’s point is that she prefers fantasy to reality and to embellish what actually happened in her mind. While that is a dangerous thought process, who hasn’t engaged in such thinking? She illustrates that line of reasoning by pointing out the nurses guiding her gurney. She suggests that “they are wearing next season Calvin Klein and so am I” and argues that her white Mary Jane shoes are “custom Giuseppe Zanotti.” Which they clearly aren’t. But if she thinks they are, in her brain, who’s to say they aren’t?

Gaga also says that the green gauze hairnets that nurses wear are cocked to the side in emulation of stylish Parisian berets, and she mentions that she thinks mint will be big in fashion next spring. She later says that the caps are meant to keep the blood out of their hair.

We don’t know where she is going with this, what’s next or what’s going to be performed on her, but she mentions Gummy Bears and how one of the nurses has a great a—.

To be continued…

Watch the Lady Gaga ‘Marry the Night’ Preview