Cocaine Hippos: Bring Escobar’s Hippos to Protect the Border

Move over cocaine bear, this is a job on the Texas border is for the cocaine hippos!

Okay, so the hippos aren't really on cocaine, but they're alive because of it! In case you didn't know, in the '80's, Columbian drug lord Pablo Escobar smuggled four hippos from the U.S. into Columbia to add to his collection of exotic animals.

It was one male and three females, and well, we all know about the birds and the bees! Apparently the hippos were banging at an alarming rate throughout the years and, according to the Columbian government, there are now 130 to 160 hippos that have spread beyond Escobar's ranch!

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It's become a problem, kind of like the feral cows, and as a result, according to CNN, authorities are going to be transporting a total of 70 hippos to India and Mexico to natural sanctuaries. 60 hippos will be going to India and 10 will be going to Mexico.

While the "translocation" will control the population in Columbia, I think I have a better idea for the hippos; bring them to protect the Border!

Okay, so the Rio Grande is lacking in water these days, but we can just fill her up and put some of the cocaine hippos every 20 feet and let them monitor any activity on the Border!

Kind of like Operation Hold the Line, but with hippos! I'm not entirely sure how well hippos will fare in Texas weather, but I think it could work. It may be a bit dangerous, just don't get to close to the hippos because they will eff you up!