Top 5 Signs You’re at a Cheesy Haunted House
This time of year, Halloween and horror fans visit their local haunted house attraction for some frightening seasonal scares. But not all haunted houses are as good as the KLAQ Haunted House: Twisted Circus 3-D. There are a lot of bad ones out there. Here are the Top 5 Signs You Made the Wrong Choice and Settled for a Bad Haunted House:
5. It’s just a bunch of guys running around in Joyce Wilson masks.
4. Instead of spending money on expensive zombie makeup, they hired a bunch of meth addicts from Las Cruces.
3. Instead of a fog machine, they have The Q’s Scott Ronson chain-smoking cigarettes in front of a fan.
2. Instead of wielding an axe, the “deranged murderer” wields Axe Body Spray.
And the #1 Sign You Made the Wrong Choice and Settled for a Bad Haunted House …
It’s just some fat dude wearing a sleep apnea mask.