CELEBRITY COURT – LINDSAY LOHAN: As expected, LINDSAY LOHAN pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor theft charge yesterday, and - as expected - she won't get any jail time beyond the 120 days she was already sentenced to for violating her probation.

RadarOnline reported earlier this week that Linds would likely not set foot in a jail cell, and would instead get an ankle bracelet strapped on her and do the home confinement thing, but there's no word yet if that's going to happen for real.

In fact, she won't know if she'll get home detention until she shows up at the jail to be booked, which she has until June 17th to do so. But even if she doesn't, she'll probably only end up serving about two weeks. Besides the 480 hours of community service we already knew about, the judge also ordered Lindsay to attend some kind of shoplifting program and undergo psychiatric counseling.

HER STATEMENT: Following her sentencing yesterday, LINDSAY LOHAN released the following statement ..."I am glad to be able to put this past me and move on with my life and my career. I support the judge's decision and hold myself accountable for being in this situation." Then she told us to leave her alone and focus on more important issues "such as homelessness and domestic violence instead of on me."

CELEBRITY BIRTHDAYS: "Tootie" from "The Facts of Life" is having a birthday today. Click here to see who else the wait staff at Applebees will be singing "Happy Birthday" to today.

CHARLIE'S  SHEEN-ANIGANS: CHARLIE SHEEN -- tired of being told no everytime he asks DENISE RICHARDS to let him spend time with their daughters, Sam and Lola -- dragged her to a law office to try to work something out. She said no. A source told TMZ it ain't gonna happen until Charlie stops being Charlie. Quote, "Denise wants Charlie to be healthy. She wants the girls to see him, but certain behaviors need to be shut down."

GUESS WHO DON’T SUE - WHICH CELEB GAVE SOME ONE HERPES???!!!: A 20 million dollar lawsuit was filed this week accusing a, quote, "A-list celebrity" of giving someone HERPES. The celebrity, however, isn't named. Neither is the plaintiff. Here's what we do know from the court papers:

The person claims to have met the A-lister in Vegas, and went to his penthouse for, quote, "an evening of prolonged sex and illicit drug use." And the whole thing was videotaped. The plaintiff goes on to state that before the bumping of the uglies took place, the celebrity clearly stated he did NOT have any STDs.

There only real clue to the identity of the celebrity is a statement identifying him as someone who has, quote, "appeared widely on television and film", and has a net worth of at least $100 million. Hmmm. Worth 100 million, parties in Vegas, and videotapes his sexual exploits? Who could the winning actor be??? Guess who, don't sue!!!

KATIE HOLMES IN DENIAL: KATIE HOLMES is denying “OK!" magazine’s claim that she’s been fetused again by the mantastic TOM CRUISE …

Her rep even told the tab she most definitely wasn’t pregnant when the magazine asked him to comment on the story. As you can see, they ran with it anyway.

SNAPSHOT: Man, NATALIE PORTMAN has really let herself go!!! Eat a salad, Natalie!!!

ROMANCE REPORT: The New York Post's Page Six hits us up with this "exclusive": LEONARDO DiCAPRIO and his supermodel girlfriend, BAR REFAELI, are kaput. Over. Dunzo. Splitsville.

The gossip site claims the pair broke up late last week because, according to their source, "Neither were ready to settle down, and both have busy careers that have been taking them in different directions." The insider adds no third party was involved,it was amicable, they're still friends, blah blah blah, yada yada yada.

2.) It's official: RACHEL McADAMS and MICHAEL SHEEN - no relation to Charlie - are an item!!! They announced their coupledom to the world by appearing in public together for the first time at a red carpet event last night.

There have been rumors of mutual naughty bits sharing since October of last year, but the actors were careful to not be photographed together until their coming out last night.


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