BRITNEY SPEARS COULD BE TRUE COULD BE CRAP: BRITNEY SPEARS is back at the top of the charts and getting ready to go on tour, but according to Britain’s not-always-reliable The London Sun , “she’s on the most painfully stage-managed promotional tour showbiz has ever seen.” 

Un-named members of her inner circle tell the tab she’s “very fragile”, and they’re worried she won’t be able to maintain her false front for a 5-minute interview, let alone a grueling 2-month, 26-city tour. 

(--She just canceled an appearance with Ellen DeGeneres citing “scheduling conflicts," but an insider claims the real reason is “the format of the show." It's "too relaxed for Britney to keep up her false front.”)

One source close to britney even told the paper “she’s heavily medicated and popping up to ten pills a day…she has to be wheeled from one place to another. she can't be trusted to do anything on her own. she's like a zombie.”

LOHAN LUNACY: Lindsay has been in New York City for the last few days working on getting a gig or two, and Wednesday, hit at least THREE bars. On her way out of a place called the Motor City Bar in Manhattan, Lindsay hit the pavement ...

To be fair, we haven't heard or seen any evidence Lindsay was drunk or even drinking. Here's what she Tweeted about her fall yesterday: "Is it not allowed to slip and fall? im always a klutz!!!"

ROMANCE REPORT: "Dancing With the Stars" judge CARRIE ANN INABA filled in for Kelly Ripa yesterday and got the surprise of a lifetime ... Her boyfriend showed up with a diamond ring and proposed on live television ...

Afterwards, Carrie Ann told People magazine, "Love is the one thing in life that makes everything worthwhile. To find a man that I love and have him love me in return is beyond words."

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KATIE HOLMES EXPLAINS THE SURI NAUGHTY GUMMIES PHOTO: KATIE HOLMES wants you to know she doesn't approve of children eating genital-shaped candy. Earlier this month, Katie was photographed holding 4-year-old SURI at a New York City candy shop, and in Suri's hand was a box of PENIS GUMMIES.

Katie explained on The Ellen DeGeneres Show yesterday how Suri ended up with a box of the naughty sweets : "I took her to get ice cream in New York at this place called Serendipity that we go to all the time. It's for kids. We go in, and we are waiting for a table, and she grabs some gummies that are boy-part gummies. I was horrified."

Katie says she didn't order the four-year-old to put back the candy back because she didn't want to explain what they were.

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KIM CATTRALL FLIPS OUT ON REPORTER: KIM CATTRALL has a new movie coming out next weekend in which she plays a washed-up '80s mattress actress who lives in a trailer park and strips to make ends meet. The plot centers on her relationship with a teenage fan that ends up befriending her.

Well, there's a scene where they kiss, and at the movie's premiere Wednesday night, the director told reporters the 21 year old who plays the teen in the movie was visibly aroused after shooting that scene. (--He may have been joking.)

But when a reporter for the "New York Daily News" asked Kim about it later, she was NOT amused. She basically pounced on the reporter, saying, quote, "You know, as a woman, I really find those questions offensive. As a woman, I find that really embarrassing [for you] to ask that." (--The reporter was a woman.)

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BABY NEWS: "Bones" star EMILY DESCHANEL is pregnant. This will be the first child for Emily, who wed last September.