Grizz Shared His Secret With The Kids Camp At The El Paso Center For Diabetes

In 2023, only a few months after my sister passed and a few months before I moved back home to El Paso to care for my mother, I admitted myself to the ER. I left work early, drove to the ER light headed and dizzy. I walked in with an aching pain in my chest and I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Not just that, I was in keto acidosis when I was admitted. I was told I was on the verge of death and I was forced to stay at the hospital for 2 weeks.

Now I've lost over 200 pounds, have decreased many of the symptoms of my diabetes, and have even managed to form a good support system around me that keeps me taking care of myself.

But for the years after I was diagnosed, I kept my diabetes a secret. I refused to tell anyone, even my closest friends and family. I felt a lot of shame about having Type 2 diabetes because in my head it meant I lived my life not taking care of myself...and that's true. It was a truth I didn't want to accept or come to terms with, that despite the many warnings in my life before this, I ignored all of them and messed up my life so badly that I would never be able to reverse it.

Courtesy of The El Paso Center For Diabetes

Recently I was invited to speak at the Kids Camp for The El Paso Center for Diabetes. I had some idea of how I would talk to them, but I was also so nervous because I did not want to talk about this shameful secret.

While we hung out and I laughed with the kids, I decided to ask a question.

"How does your diabetes make you feel?"

Kids raised their hands and answered the usual way you'd expect. Most said sad, anxious, overwhelmed.

But one little girl raised her hand and when I called on her she said:

"My diabetes makes me feel happy."

When I asked her why that is, with curious sincerity in my voice, she gave me an answer I did not expect. She said that her diabetes made her feel cared for.

"Everyone is asking about me! Have you checked your numbers? Did you take your insulin? Do you need any juice?"

Courtesy of The El Paso Center For Diabetes

She talked about how the people in her life check up on her. The way her family and friends ask about her condition, to her, was a clear indication that people care about her. The whole conversation made step back and take a look at the way the people in my life, who I trusted enough to tell about my diabetes, had my back no matter what.

My mom changed our meals and diet up when we could afford it to accommodate the diabetes diet. My friends with diabetes let me have extra lancets and test strips when I needed them. The people who knew were there for me and helped me through all the hardest parts of being an unmedicated diabetic who couldn't afford health care.

Because of this little girls answer, I decided I would be open about my journey. And of course, that needed to start right at the Kids Camp. I told the kids that they had made me feel brave enough to share a secret and I confessed to them that I had been living in shame with Type 2 Diabetes for years and because of them, I would no longer live that way.

Because of the Kids Camp at the El Paso Center for Diabetes, I would live open and free, and do what I could to help others feel the same.