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Top 5 Relatives We Are Glad To See Go Home After Being In El Paso For The Holidays

Man in Wheat Field With Arms Outstretched
courtesy; Morgan David de Lossy

The holidays are finally over. The tree is put away, you’ve eaten all the leftovers you can stand, and the kids are heading back to school. But the best part of the holidays being over? Getting rid of those relatives who come into town and bother the hell out of you. They think that just because they live in Dallas or Austin or Phoenix they can blow into town and laugh at you for still living in the 915.

Here’s a list of the relatives we are glad to see get the heck outta town:

1. There’s nothing to do in El Paso like there is in my city – This relative is always bragging about going to the Cowboys games or all the great concerts they go to and wonder how you can make do with the Chihuahuas and the Miners.

2. How can you eat Chico’s Tacos, and then sneaks off to get them – This relative acts like they didn’t spend the majority of their high school years in Chico’s after a long night in Juarez. They talk about Chico’s like someone who didn’t grow up here, but then get caught sneaking off to grab a double order with extra cheese.

3. The Christmas lights in my town are so much better – So are the stores, the houses, the streets, the restaurants, the schools… you get the picture.

4. You don’t have a Cheesecake Factory? This town is so backward. Oh, you have a Ruth’s Chris and Whole Foods? Wow, you must feel so grown up! – If we say we don’t have a particular restaurant or store then this relative rolls their eyes and says ‘Of course not! This is El Paso!’, but if we say we just got a Whole Foods they say ‘Finally, but of course, El Paso is always the last to get anything good!’ You’ll never win this argument, so just take another bite of your Chico’s and smile and them.

5. I wish I was here to help more often with mom/dad/abuelito/abuelita. You need help with them today? Oh sorry, I have to visit my friends! I never get to see them! – This relative is always posting on Facebook about how much they miss family and how much they are looking forward to getting home for the holidays. When they get here, however, they spend so much time partying with their friends that they hardly have time to do anything else, but you would never guess that if you checked out their Facebook page. They take a hundred pics of family gatherings and post them like all they did was hang with their familia.

But we’re not bitter about family and holidays. We love seeing them when they come into town, and we love seeing them head back out because that means more Chico’s for us!

UP NEXT: El Paso Steampunks Check Out The Victorian Sci-Fi Book And Tea Club At The Magoffin Home

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