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Dirt: Is J-Love Ingenious, Efficient, or Pathetic? We Report, You Decide

BABY NEWS:“Us Weekly” is reporting PENELOPE CRUZ had her baby yesterday. Spain’s “Hola!” magazine is reporting she had a baby boy, but no word yet on a name.

Photo via Daily Mail

 This is the first child for Penelope and husband JAVIER BARDEM, who by the way, was nominated for the Best Actor Oscar yesterday as well. Little known Javier Bardem fact: Acting wasn’t his first career choice. He started out as a male stripper!!! Bardem said in a recent interview with The Time newspaper, quote, “I did it as a joke, at first, for some friends. But a guy spotted me in a nightclub and hired me for the next day. I was so bad. I had to get my mother and sister to cheer me on.”

JESSICA SIMPSON PARTIES LIKE A ROCK STAR:Word is JESSICA SIMPSON was so drunk at a Hollywood “hot spot” the other night, she was “wobbly” and had to be led out on fiancé Eric Johnson’s arm!!!

Photo Credit: Splashnews via Page Six

Friends told the New York Post’s Page Six it’s because she hadn’t eaten in days. Apparently she was sipping on sake after she’d, quote, “just finished a (detoxing) cleanse” and the Japanese Juice hit her hard. “This was the first meal she had eaten in days.”

Onlookers said Simpson sat in her car’s passenger seat with her eyes half-closed. Unfortunatly, no one thought to take a picture!!!  Perhaps she should take some drinking lessons from 89 year old BETTY WHITE. Scroll down to read about her partying ways ...

IS J-LOVE BEING EFFICIENT OR PATHETIC???: Remember the KIM KARDASHIAN Tweet we told you about earlier this week?

The one where she tweeted a childhood picture of her boyfriend and added she wanted her son to “look like this”, and we were all “Whoa, girl, you’re gonna scare him away”? OK, well me thinks JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT has her beat.

J-Love, you see, has three engagement rings picked out … but no fiancé!!! Here’s what she told ELLEN DeGENERES on her show yesterday …

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 Jennifer has been dating some unknown actor named Alex Beh for about seven months. So what do you think, ladies: Is Jennifer Ingenious, efficient or pathetic? We report, you decide!

LEAST DESIRABLE WOMEN OF 2011:According to the website AskMen, SARAH PALIN is the LEAST desirable woman of 2011. ??? I know!!! And even though they, like most men, think she totally rocks the hot librarian look, it’s her mouth that gets her the #1 spot:

“Every time she opens her mouth to spew anti-Obama rhetoric, she adds at least one beer on the Molson scale (a determinant of how many beers need to be consumed before one beds her).”

SNOOKIE came in second, (–”She’s a short, stubby, loud-mouth alcoholic who’s garish wardrobe is matched only by her…ability to discuss her own flatulence with the aplomb of a college professor), and KHLOE KARDASHIAN was third. “In the harsh light of day with the cold truth of sobriety in tow – and especially with her next to her two far more alluring sisters,” They write, “well, let’s just say she’s not “the pretty one” for a reason.” Sas!

You can check out the rest of the Top 10 here.

WAS BETTY BEHAVING BADLY???!!!: BETTY WHITE turned 89 last week and with her days numbered, you better believe she partied. HARD!!!

The foul-mouthed comedic treasure celebrated her birthday at a restaurant called Le Cirque in New York City with friends that included VALERIE BERTINELLI, and SHERRI SHEPHERD. And according to an E! Online source, “She was eating hot dogs and throwing back vodka – Grey Goose, rocks, lime rim. She was amazing.”

But despite her borderline alcoholic ways Betty is still a lady, and thus, she would NOT dance on any tables. The source says, quote, “We were all trying to get her to table dance. We were chanting ‘Betty! Betty!’ and trying to get her up there all night. We thought maybe she would, but (no).

KE$HA $UED: This is pretty amusing. The management firm that used to represent KE$HA is suing her for $14 million. They’re claiming she breached her written contract with them when she dumped them for a new manager in 2008.

Here’s the amusing part. The management company is asking the courts to act QUICKLY on this case because they’re worried that Kesha’s career might not last much longer, and they want to make sure they get paid. Quote, “Ke$ha is a very young and inexperienced artist whose ‘star’ may not continue to rise.”

In other words, they want to secure a judgment against her NOW before the only money she has to her name is, well … the dollar sign that’s IN her name.

QUICKIES: 1.) OPRAH WINFREY might be hoping that she has some other family members she doesn’t know about, because Monday’s long lost half sister revelation was a ratings bonanza. The exact number of viewers hasn’t been revealed yet, but according to the “Hollywood Reporter”, the preliminary data shows that it was her highest-rated episode in SIX YEARS.

2.) Ex-Cowboy’s great TROY AIKMAN is separating from his wife of 10 years, Rhonda. This was Troy’s first marriage, her second. They have two girls together. Troy will be calling the Super Bowl game for FOX in two weeks.

3.)Dr. Conrad Murray – you know the guy who killed MICHAEL JACKSON … allegedly – pled not guilty to involuntary manslaughter yesterday. Asked for his plea, Murray said, quote, “Your honor, I am an innocent man. I therefore plead not guilty.” Jury selection is set for March 28th, and the judge said he is “inclined” to permit live TV coverage of the trial.

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