What’s Love Got To Do With It?
From the movie Annie Hall : (Alvy and Annie are seeing their therapists at the same time on a split screen)
Alvy Singer’s Therapist: How often do you sleep together?
Annie Hall’s Therapist: Do you have sex often?
Alvy Singer: [lamenting] Hardly ever. Maybe three times a week.
Annie Hall: [annoyed] Constantly. I’d say three times a week.
Why are women, in this day and age, still embarrassed to admit they like sex? I ask because I got an email from a listener last week blasting her husband for constantly wanting to get busy, as she put it. She said she couldn’t even brush up against him in the hall at home without well, let’s say, running into something. She said she had even taken to riding in the back seat of the car to keep away from his roaming hands. I showed the email to my girlfriends and more than half of them said, ‘We feel your pain, sistah!’ I said, ‘WTF?’
Look, I know with kids, work, housework, family and friends, women are stressed out and really, just want to drink a cup of hot chocolate and turn in, blah, blah, blah. At least that’s what we’ve all been conditioned to think and say. Our moms tell us that we shouldn’t give away the milk for free, our dads tell us someone’s gonna lose a body part if we give the milk away at all, and chick flicks never get past Sandra Bullock kissing Hugh Grant on the street, so it’s no surprise that women think all they really want is a good cuddle. But I know better. KISS has hosted ladies only nights at Sunland Park News and Video, and let me tell you, cuddling was not what women were waiting in line for an hour to buy! So you ask…
What’s Love Got To Do With Loving?
Well, nothing. I’m not talking about love, I’m talking about sex.
Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a difference, and men easily make the distinction, but women refuse to. Women are still under the impression that every time we knock boots with our significant other, it has to happen on a bed covered in rose petals and lit by banks of candles. And for God’s sake, don’t call it knocking boots!
Get with it girl. Love is love, but sex is vital. A little roll in the hay makes putting that yoke on and going to work worth it. Men have it right in this respect, ladies. Get ready, get set, get nekkid! A little weeknight nookie relieves all the other day-to-day pressures, but as with most things, there are ground rules.
Rule number one – make it quick. Guys, I know it’s all about quantity of positions in porn, but weeknight nookie is all about quality. There is a time and place for displaying your prowess, this is not that time. If your woman knows she’ll be able to hit the pillow at a reasonable hour after ya’ll have hit the sheets, you’ll be more likely to score.
Rule number two – I said quick, not premature. Make sure your gal has done the Meg Ryan in “When Harry Met Sally,” but for reals, before you pop off and everyone will have sweet dreams!
And finally Rule number three – When you were a kid, your mom taught you to say thank you to your party hostess, and believe me, a little gratitude will go a long way here. A simple ‘Wow, honey, we still have it!’ is all you need. She’ll feel like a hottie, you’ll feel like the man, and all will be well with the world. Now go forth and get busy!