REPORT SHOWS BIEBER WAS ALL HOPPED UP ON WEED AND PILLS: The results of the toxicology report are in, and it turns out JUSTIN BIEBER was all hopped up on marijuana and prescription pills the night of his arrest in Miami Beach. TMZ says the report shows Justin's urine test was positive for THC and Alprazolam. THC is the key ingredient of the cannabis plant, and Alprazolam is the substance found in Xanax.

Although his arraignment isn’t scheduled until Valentine’s Day, his lawyer entered a written not guilty plea yesterday to misdemeanor charges of resisting arrest, driving under the influence and driving with an expired license.

PETITION TO DEPORT BIEBER HITS 100,000 - WILL WHITE HOUSE RESPOND?: With the state of the union speech now in his rear view mirror, President Barack Obama can now concentrate on the issues that really matter – like whether to deport JUSTIN BIEBER. According to the official White House website, if you start a petition and it gets 100,000 signatures within 30 days, then the White House will "review it, ensure it’s sent to the appropriate policy experts, and issue an official response."

Well, the petition we told you about a few days ago to deport the Bieb and revoke his green card is at 179,000 signatures and counting in just under six days, so that means the White House now has to wade into the issue of whether or not to kick the Biebz out of our country. That response, though, could take a long time -- weeks or even months, according to the Washington Times.

Of course, I'm sure that when the White House does respond, they'll say something generic, like how this is an issue for the police and the courts. But it'll still be interesting to see exactly how they handle it.

JUSTIN BIEBER ARRESTED AGAIN: Justin Bieber continues to be ... (insert echo effect here) ... The Story That Will Not Die (die, die, die). Justin surrendered to Canadian authorities in Toronto yesterday after being charged with assault for allegedly attacking a limo driver there last month. The driver was reportedly hit in the back of the head several times while taking Justin and his posse to a hockey game. I'm assuming Justin was the assailant, since he was the one charged. He was booked for assault, given a citation and released back into the wild about 90 minutes later.

COULD BE TRUE, COULD BE CRAP - KIM AND KANYE DON'T WANT BRUCE JENNER IN THEIR WEDDING IF HE'S TRULY TRANSITIONING: I have no idea if rumors of BRUCE JENNER wanting to become a woman are true, but if they are, this is kind of harsh; The "Star" tabloid claims KIM KARDASHIAN and KANYE WEST don't want him in their wedding if he is indeed in the process of transitioning.

It's mostly Kanye though. A source tells the tab, quote, "He told Kim that if Bruce is not a guy on the day they tie the knot, he doesn't want him to be part of the ceremony." For the record, Bruce just had that surgery to shave down his Adam's apple, and he did look kind of feminine leaving the clinic after it was over. (PHOTO) (PHOTO)

RELATIONSHIP REPORT - SELENA GOMEZ DATING AUSTIN MAHONE?: Us Weekly claims SELENA GOMEZ is robbing the cradle again. This time supposedly dating 17 year-old pop singer Austin Mahone. (PHOTO)

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And they can thank TAYLOR SWIFT for playing matchmaker. The mag SAYS that after Austin opened for Taylor on her Red tour she introduced him to her BFF Selena and they are now “seeing each other.” Mahone is denying the rumor, however. “Were just friends," he told People magazine. "She's really cool … I mean, I think she's really pretty but every time I'm in L.A., she's like, 'Hey you're in L.A., lets hang out.”

WATCH - MILEY + MADONNA UNPLUGGED: MILEY CYRUS got her own MTV's "Unplugged,” which aired last night, and of course she had to do something to make people talk about it. This time she went with grinding up on, and spanking MADONNA. And, yes, their tongues did make an appearance. (PHOTO)

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Miley and Madge performed a mash-up of their songs "Don't Tell Me" and "We Can't Stop".

Speaking of Madonna … BILLY JOEL totally shaded her Monday night during the first performance of his residency shows at Madison Square Garden. Joel was talking about a spray he uses to coat his throat before a song, and mentioned he’d seen Madonna use it once, then added, "it didn't help her much." The crowd obviously agrees because they went wild.

WHEN CELEBRITIES  PHOTOBOMB: Check out RIHANNA photobombing the guys from "Full House" who were on "Good Morning America" yesterday to hype their Super Bowl commercial …


SNAPSHOT: Someone teach JACK NICHOLSON how to do a duck face, stat! (PHOTO)

THEN AND NOW: Remember the creepy twin girls from "The Shining"? They're in their mid-40s now, and here's what they look like ...