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Today Is National Unfriend Day – Here’s 5 People You Should Get Rid Of Right Now

Hate Technology
courtesy: Alexandru Kacso

Today is National Unfriend Day. That’s the day you act like it’s The Purge and slash and burn people off your Facebook page. You’ll probably feel really bad about getting rid of some of them, but I guarantee you’ll feel better if you get rid of these 5 people on your page. Think about it – never having to scroll past their nonsense, never having to deal with their drama. It’s gonna be great!

1. Cat Lady – We know, we know. You love your cat. Your cat is your baby. You’re a cat parent. Your mom has resigned herself to having a grandcat instead of an actual grandchild. But for the love of God, please refrain from taking selfies with your beloved feline that show you licking off the same spoon of yogurt, or else the rest of us are going to lose our lunch.

2. Reformed New Parent – This person used to head out the door to the clubs at 1 a.m., but now she’s writing posts that are ten paragraphs long about how wonderful it is to be waking up three times a night to stare at her precious snugglemuffin peacefully sleeping in his crib. When someone says they don’t want to have kids, she tells them how selfish they are and wonders how they’re going to feel when they’re old and alone. Hopefully at some point this friend will stop posting about diaper genies and play dates, but until she does, she’s gone.

3. Your Ex’s Sibling – You forgot that they’re still a friend, but having them there is just an invitation for your ex to Facebook stalk you. Resist the urge to post soft-focus photos of you and your current man until you get rid of the sib. You don’t want anyone taking screenshots and then turning them into an ugly meme.

4. Your Old Classmates – If you haven’t spoken to them on the phone in the 10 years since you graduated high school and only added them because everyone was doing it at the reunion, get rid of them. High school is done and you don’t want to know that the prom queen married a billionaire and is currently living in an 13th century castle in the English countryside, or that the star athlete is now working as a stock boy at the Dollar Tree. It’s time to move on.

5. The Random Restaurant – Unless you really dig their food, having to scroll past the endless 30% discount offers is just a hassle. You liked their page to get the discount, so the like served it’s purpose. Go check out a new place and like them, then next year, you can unfriend them, as well.

Happy Unfriend Day!

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