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The Stupid News: Man Wants Boobies Back

MAN WANTS TO REPO BOOBIES … A man in Germany who paid for his girlfriend’s breast implants wants to have them REPOSSESSED now that she’s dumped him.

The guy – whose name hasn’t been released – apparently paid just under 6 grand for his 20-year-old girlfriend’s breast implants last year. At the time, he told her he’d buy them for her if she promised to stay with him for a year. He even had her sign a CONTRACT that said she’d have to pay him back for the implants if she broke up with him within a year. Sounds like a healthy relationship, no?

Well, she left him shortly after getting her new boobies and now he’s gone to the police with the contract threatening to have her new breasts repossessed if he doesn’t get the money soon. I’m not sure where you find a repo man for a job like this.

REAL (WO)MAN OF GENIUS … A woman in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania accidentally got locked out of her house, which has probably happened to just about everyone, but no one else I’m aware of has ever tried THIS strategy to get back inside.

The woman – whose name hasn’t been released – decided her best play would be to set the house ON FIRE so that the fire department would come and let her in. She set the rear awning of her house on fire, and then called 911.

After the firefighters showed up, she calmly explained her master plan and asked them to let her into the house. They instead called the cops, and the woman was arrested and charged with ARSON.

WOMAN SAYS SHE OWNS THE SUN … A woman in Spain says she’s filed the appropriate paperwork with a notary and now owns the sun.

Angeles Duran says she now intends to start charging all of us on earth for our use of her sun, but says she’s only keeping 10% of the proceeds. The rest she’ll donate to charity.

OK, it’s her sun. But her sun is trespassing through MY atmosphere. (I’m getting a piece of this deal, too!)

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