WHAT EACH MONTH SAYS ABOUT FUTURE CAREERS: A new study out of England found that the month when someone is born makes a big impact on their future career. So if you’ve always dreamed of your child becoming a dentist, then make sure you give birth in December by conceiving in March. But if you are hoping for a debt collector, then January is definitely the month you want to shoot for.

That's the conclusion of researchers who have analyzed the birth months of people and their occupations using information from the last census. The results appear to indicate that a person’s birth month could make them statistically more likely to end up in certain careers. Here are the findings . . .

--JANUARY: Lots of doctors and debt collectors.
--FEBRUARY: Lots of artists and cops. 

--MARCH: Lots of pilots and musicians.
--APRIL: Dictator (I’m not sure, though, how this can be considered a “career.”)
--MAY: Lots of politicians.

--JUNE: Lots of CEOs and Nobel Prize winners.
--JULY: Lots of manual laborers and artists.
--AUGUST: Lots of manual laborers and high-ranking politicians.

--SEPTEMBER: Lots of people in academia and sports.
--OCTOBER: Lots of politicians.
--NOVEMBER: Lots of serial killers. (Again, not sure how this can be considered a “career.”)
--DECEMBER: Above average number of dentists and religious and secular Messiahs

Oh, great. I’ve given birth to a politician. The only thing the world hates more is lawyers!!! How’d you do? Any future serial killers?