And by rat, I don't mean a person with a predisposition to using their powers for evil and not good, I mean a rodent.

A new study out of UCLA with two groups of rats were given high fructose sugar water to drink.  One group was also given some brain boosting thingee that I could remember the name of if only I didn't drink so much high fructose sugar water...

Anyway, the rats without the brain boosting thingee showed slowed synaptic processes and didn't become Teenage Mutant Ninja Rats.

Oh well, I would stop drinking all that sugar water if only I hadn't been doing it for 45 years already.  I figure my brain is already compromised.  Save yourself!  Only drink non-high fructose sugar water!  Or take a lesson from Buddy, our favorite Elf: