REAL MAN OF GENIUS ... 26-year-old Jerry Wayne Means of Marmet, West Virginia, was pulled over this past weekend driving an Oldsmobile that had been reported stolen.

But Jerry explained he hadn't stolen the car. Oh, no. He'd BOUGHT the car. In fact, he'd bought the car by paying for it with a couple of $50 bags of meth!!! The cops were not impressed.

Jerry was arrested and charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, delivery of methamphetamine, and not having a license.

MAN SAYS BLAME DUI ON DATE WITH GOAT ... When police in Kretzyn, Poland, pulled over an un-named 54 year old driver for swerving all over the road, two things surprised them; One, his blood-alcohol was three times the legal limit, and, two, he had a GOAT in the car with him.
His explanation? His goat was, quote, "lonely" and he had escorted him on a date at a friend's farm, where they'd met up with a female goat. "[We] had some vodkas to break the ice, then more to celebrate," he told the cops. "And by the time we left, [I] was very drunk." For some reason, the cops still arrested him.

I'm not sure there's even an excuse that'll get you out of a DUI, but I'm pretty sure this isn't even CLOSE to being a contender.

NASA CONCLUDES "2012" IS FULL OF &%#! ... A panel of NASA experts has concluded the movie "2012" is the most ridiculous and scientifically flawed science fiction movie ever made.
According to an article in The Australian, "2012" was singled out at a conference in which NASA pleaded with Hollywood for more rational plots. Donald Yeomans, a senior research scientist at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, California said they take issue with the way neutrino particles are portrayed in the movie.

Apparently, there’s absolutely no evidence that the earth’s magnetic field is going to reverse and allow neutrino particles to bombard the earth. And they say even if it did, neutrino particles are completely neutral and therefore can’t interact with anything. What concerns me is not that NASA thinks 2012 was the most flawed sci-fi movie ever. What concerns me is that they evidently see some basis in fact for Godzilla!!!

PENIS FAIL ... A Canadian man is suing the makers of the "X4 Extender" for selling him a PENILE ENLARGER he says didn't work. And he's suing them in ... wait for it ... SMALL claims court! Sometimes the comedy writes itself, folks!

The guy, who lives in southwestern Quebec, says he bought a device called the X4 Extender Deluxe for a little under 300 dollars and used it a total of 500 hours but that it didn't make any difference on his size. He's asking for his money back plus another $500 for "pain and humiliation." Let's hope his evidence "stands up in court"!!! Hi-Yo!!!  No, YOU shut up!!!