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Relationship Report: Questions That Strike Fear in the Hearts of Men – As Heard on Mike and Tricia

‘DOES THIS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?’ AND OTHER QUESTIONS THAT STRIKE FEAR IN ANY MAN’S HEART: Nearly every guy has been in this situation before: there he is minding his own business when out of nowhere, his lady suddenly puts him in the hot seat with these six little words … “Let me ask you a question …”

The question that follows, of course, is almost always nearly impossible to answer. Why? Because there is never a truly correct answer, if there’s an answer at all! Here are some of the most common fear-inducing questions you might be called upon to answer, and the best way to answer them:

  • Does this make me look fat? I know you’ve always been told honesty is the best policy, but this one is the exception to the rule, fellas. Even though she already knows the answer — because let’s face it, if she’s asking in the first place she’s already aware it’s not a flattering look on her –there is only one answer to this question: “What? Are you kidding? You could never look fat.”  She knows you’re lying. You know she knows you’re lying. But this is one time she won’t hold it against you.
  • Do you think (insert name of female friend or relative) is attractive? Pleading the fifth to this one is not a good idea. If you truly don’t think whomever is pretty, good for you, you’re off the hook because your answer will be convincing. But if you find her even remotely attractive you could be in the dog house if you don’t tread carefully. Here’s how you handle this one: “I guess some guys might find her attractive.” Then add, “But she’s nowhere near as pretty as you.”
  • Why didn’t you call? This is one of those lose-lose situations. There’s really no acceptable answer, and any response will likely lead you further down the rabbit hole. The best way to answer this one is to readily agree you dropped the ball and vow that you’ll do better and won’t be so inconsiderate next time, then actually do better  and be more considerate next time

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