For you “preppers” out there, here’s a list of some alternatives to Butterball turkeys just in case you find yourself all dressed up with no turkey to show.  I’ve conveniently divided them up into several categories for you.  Oh, I’ve also added an angry turkey video cause everybody loves those….uh right?


Now I don’t want to cause a panic but the word out on the street is that there will be a shortage of fresh Butterball turkeys this Thanksgiving.   Don’t get too scared though, it’s just this one particular brand AND it’s just their fresh turkeys, not the frozen ones.  Apparently some of the farmers who supply Butterball with the Thanksgiving bird had a hard time plumping them up over 16 lbs (I guess EVERYBODY tests for steroids these days).  Anyhow, here are some silly ideas for you in the possible but unlikely event you're unable to procure a Thanksgiving turkey this year.

1.       Technically It’s Turkey But Not Really:

Turkey Ham

Turkey Bacon

Turkey Sausage

Turkey Burgers

Turkey Bratwurst

Ground Turkey

Turkey Franks

Turkey Pot Pie

Turkish Delight (It’s not really turkey at all, it’s more of a confection but it sounds like turkey so I’m adding it to this list).

2.       It Has Wings But It’s Still Not Turkey:

Ducken (chicken inside a duck and probably THE GO TO DISH if you can swing it)

Goose (if you’re feeling a bit “Christmas Carol-ish”)

Guinea Fowl

Fried Chicken (from a bucket or otherwise)


Quail Eggs

Chicken Eggs

Buffalo Wings

Beer Can Chicken

Kung Pao Chicken

3.       It’s Cool, I’ll Just Hunt/Catch It Myself:

Wild Turkey (uh the bird not the bourbon)









4.       You’re Not Even Trying Anymore:


PB&J Sandwiches

Campbell’s Soup



Fish Sticks

Breakfast Cereal

5.       Why does this exist?

Tofurkey (Vegan Tofu Turkey)