Mike’s the Stupid News: Zookeeper Saves a Baby Monkey’s Life by Licking Its Butt

Earlier this month, a rare baby monkey at a zoo in China swallowed a whole peanut, which blocked his digestive system and put his life in danger. Because the monkey is just three months old, it was too small for laxatives, and because they’re almost endangered and rarely ever born in captivity, the zoo had to figure something out.

So 50-year-old zookeeper Zhang Bangsheng stepped up. He decided to try to coax the monkey to poop out the peanut by . . . wait for it . . . licking the monkey's butt! I believe that's what you call the "hiney-lick manuver". Hi-Yo!

And he kept on licking the monkey’s butt for over an hour!!! Well what are you going to do after 45 minutes, STOP licking? At a certain point there’s no turning back, you know.  Anyway, you gotta admire the guys dedication, no? Here's the thing, though: IT WORKED. The monkey pushed out the whole peanut, saving its life. You gotta figure all the other zoo workers can now forget about winning "Zoo Employee of the Year", because I’m pretty sure Zhang is a lock.

Here's a photo of Zhang with the monkey. Despite what it looks like, I've been assured  it's NOT a shot of Zhang "saving the monkey's life."