Mike’s the Stupid News: Woman Tries to Poison Husband with her Lady Parts

A Brazilian woman thought she could get rid of her husband with an x-rated kiss – by planting poison in her, um, woo-ha and enticing him to, um, shall we say, head south.

The man, whose name was not released, nearly bought into his spouse's oral argument to, um, perform, but noticed that something about her didn't smell quite right,so he dragged her to a hospital for an examination that turned up the toxic substance. According to the Brazilian press, she’s now facing charges of attempted murder, though I presume her lawyer will advise her to keep her lips shut … figuratively speaking, that is.

The takeaway here, men, is that there’s a fine line between a lack of cleanliness and a hidden toxic substance. If something smells fishy, it probably is … metaphorically speaking, that is.