Mike’s The Stupid News: She Said No, So He Folded Her Up & Why They Call It Crack

WTW??? MAN FOLDS EX-GIRLFRIENDS MOM INTO THE COUCH!!! ... Mark Foreman of Palmetto, Florida showed up at the home of his ex-girlfriend's mother last week and asked to use the bathroom. The woman - who was lying on the bed that folds out of her couch at the time - said no. So Mark attacked her, then FOLDED HER and the bed back into the couch!!!

Someone called the cops, who rescued the woman from inside the couch and sent her to the hospital, where she was treated for injuries to her right wrist and her back. Mark was arrested for battery on a person over 65. That's Mark's mugshot on the top left. He looks rather pleased with himself, dontchathink?

HOW'S THIS FOR IRONY ... Police in Charleroi, Pennsylvania - a town just outside Pittsburgh - found a two-year old toddler wandering the streets alone. They say he wasn’t wearing shoes or a coat. After conducting a door-to-door search to find his parents, it was determined she'd left him in the care of her fiance's father while she attended a ‘parenting class.’ Police are deciding whether to charge her with child endangerment. In which case, she’d have to attend parenting classes!

HONESTY IS NOT ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY ... A police officer in Elyria, Ohio, pulled over a driver who was observed speeding and swerving just after 2:00 A.M. The driver - 25-year-old Stephen Supers - was asked if he'd been drinking. Stephen responded by reaching down, picking up is open beer can, taking a drink, and saying, "Yes."

He was placed under arrest. A subsequent search of his car produced some marijuana and a CRACK PIPE. Stephen, still in a confessing mood, then told the cop he was driving with a suspended license. 'Driving under suspension' was added to the DUI and possession charges.

WINNER, WINNER, CHICKEN DINNER ... 27-year-old Joseph Stringer of Kingston, Georgia was arrested for misdemeanor shoplifting after he went to Walmart and shoved the following things down his pants: Chicken wings, a mouth guard, two toothbrushes, and a FULL rotisserie chicken. There's a Chicken Crotchatore joke in there somewhere too!

MORE PEOPLE OF WALMART ... Rodney Kunkel of Toledo, Ohio was busted for walking around a Walmart and putting photos of himself in FISHNET STOCKINGS, a woman's CAMISOLE, high heels, and NO UNDERWEAR on different shelves throughout the store, and on the windshields of some of the cars in the parking lot.

A Walmart security guard spotted him and called police. According to the police report, Rodney, quote, "apparently did it just to get a reaction." Here's his mugshot. The photos of him in his fishnets and camisole, sadly , weren't released.

WHY THEY CALL IT CRACK ... A Florida man was busted for having crack in his ... well ... crack. 19-year-old Clarell Jamar Colbert was riding his bike in the middle of the street, obstructing traffic, and reportedly became very agitated when officers approached him.

 He was arrested after a drug-sniffing dog smelled a "narcotic odor coming from his rear." He allegedly had a tube filled with several rocks of crack between his cheeks.