Mike’s The Stupid News: Police Arrest Guy With Scrunchie Around His Winky!!! & Another Real Man of Genius Goes Back To Get His Holdup Note

WTW??? MAN HIGH ON METH ARRESTED WITH SCRUNCHIE AROUND HIS YOU-KNOW-WHAT!!! ...42-year-old Shawn Batie of Lodi, California -- high on meth this past weekend -- was causing quite the scene yelling at the top of his lungs in front of a cemetery, wearing an Oakland Raiders jacket, a G-STRING, socks, and a HAIR SCRUNCHIE on his down there hair. 

When the police showed up to investigate, they asked him why he wasn't wearing pants to which he simply replied, "They must have been taken." Batie was taken into custody on suspicion of being under the influence. Sadly, in this day and age  where everyone's got a camera phone on them at all times, no one thought to take a photo of him. All I can offer is his mug shot …

MAN WHO BROK INTO SCHOOL MAKES IT  TOO EASY FOR COPS; KNOCKS HIMSELF UNCONCIOUS ... Two men broke into Bunche Middle School in Atlanta, Georgia around 3:00 A.M. yesterday planning to steal computers from the school. The break in, however, set off the silent alarm alerting police in the process. When the cops got there, the guys naturally made a run for it.

One of them -- in a bid to distract the cops -- grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall, sprayed it at the cops, turned around … and ran STRAIGHT into a WALL knocking himself out in the process!!! I love it when criminals get caught like cartoon characters! He was arrested without incident. His partner in crime was caught a short time later.

ANOTHER 'REAL MAN OF GENIUS' GOES BACK TO GET HIS HOLDUP NOTE ...Matthew Dale Hudleston of Pensacola, Florida plead guilty yesterday to charges he robbed a branch of Regions Bank in Foley, Alabama last October. Dale was actually a successful bank robber. He was just a horrible decision maker after the fact.

You see, at the time of the robbery, Dale slipped the teller a note saying he had a gun, not to alert anyone ... yada,yada. The teller gave him about ten grand and Matthew took off. As he was running away, he realized he'd forgotten to get his holdup note back and was worried they'd be able to use the note to track him down. So he inadvertently saved them the trouble . . . by going back to the bank he’d just robbed to try to get the note.

Unfortunately for him the police were already there investigating the robbery and apprehended him without incident.

Go to Mike & Tricia's Facebook page and hit up the comment section on this or any other of our recent posts. (If you're signed in to Facebook right now you can comment in the box below.)

And be sure to hit the "Like" button on the top right corner so you can see all our future postings on your wall!