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Mike’s the Stupid News – Mysterious Leaking Liquid That Led to Post Office Evacuation Turns Out to Be Lube

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Yesterday, the Mills Building downtown was evacuated after a suspicious package containing a white powder was opened at the federal El Paso Passport Agency. The incident is still being investigated so no word on what the power was yet. Well, the day before, a post office in Alabama was similarly evacuated after a mysterious substance leaked out of a package.

After Hazmat teams came in, set up a perimeter, and carefully removed the box they found it was leaking, but not from a dangerous or poisonous chemical. It turns out the box contained about 15 packages of KY Intense Arousal gel, and one of them started leaking. U.S. Postal Service officials told reporters the package was headed for, quote, “someone in the entertainment industry.” I’m pretty sure most of us can guess what type of industry that person is in — if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Next: Fugitive Tweets ‘Catch Me If You Can,’ U.S. Marshals Comply

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