A Chicago man, arrested after cops found him passed out in his SUV surrounded by empty beer cans, treated Cook County's finest to an air piano session after first doing his business on the jail room floor. According to the police report, 30 year-old Santa Ana Zuloaga-Campuzano admitted he had consumed eight beers, three shots of tequila and three shots of cognac, but declined to take a breath test, reasoning, quote, "What's the point, I know I'm drunk."

Shortly after being hauled in -- and while still in handcuffs -- Campuzano relieved himself on the floor, then kneeled down, and treated officers to an air piano-accompanied song fest. He’s been charged with driving under the influence and various other traffic offenses.