Mike’s the Stupid News: Man Breaks Into Adult Store to Have Relations with Blow-Up Doll

BLOW-UP DOLL BURGLAR BUSTED: Justin Dale Little Jim of Woodbridge, Virginia broke into an adult novelty store late Tuesday night, but apparently he wasn’t there to steal anything. 

After being alerted to the break in by a concerned citizen, police found Justin in a store closet "attempting sexual relations" with a blow-up love doll. Not HAVING, mind you, ATTEMPTING. Justin was arrested for burglary, grand larceny, and destruction of property.