The Stupid News: Rejected, So He Tries To Run Her Over

REJECTED MAN TRIES TO RUN HIS GIRL FRIEND OVER ... Mario Francisco Hernandez turned up at the Burger Stop in Pico Rivera, Californi armed with flowers and "Will you marry me?" scrawled on his car...
...but his girlfriend - the 21-year-old mother of this two children - said no. So Mario did what any sesible man would do after just being rejected; he jumped back in his car and tried to run her down, even chasing her over a curb and through some bushes. I mean, really. I don’t see how that’s going to change her mind. He was charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

REAL MAN OF GENIUS ... Edward Blaine of Springfield, Massachusetts robbed a Chinese food delivery guy, getting away with a small amount of cash and the food order.

It must have been some good food, too, because Edward turned up at the restaurant a short time later for seconds. Unfortunately for him, the driver had returned to the restaurant too and recognized him. The driver and some of his co-workers held Edward until the cops got there.

FORCED TO EAT HIS BEARD ... Here’s a strange one out of Kentucky; a fight over a lawnmower ended up with one man being forced to eat his own beard. Two men went to visit two brothers to see about buying a lawnmower. When the two visitors thought they were being cheated, an argument started and knives and guns were produced.

Here's wherethe whole situation got a little hairy! Hi-Yo!!!
The victim said one of the buyers put a knife to his brother’s neck while the other buyer shaved the first man and forced him to eat his own beard. The two men were later caught by police.

SMELL LIKE PIE ... Just in time for Thanksgiving, a fragrance company called Harvey Prince is selling a new perfume called "Eau Fling", which is designed to smell like pumpkin pie.

The product description reads, quote, "Eau Fling is based on the combination of lavender and pumpkin pie notes which are proven to create male sexual arousal." A 1.7-ounce bottle runs $55.

Sure, that's a lot, but you'll smell like pumpkin pie and attract countless men, and who can put a price on that? I definitely follow the logic here. Men love the smell of pumpkin pie. Women want to attract men. Therefore women should do their best to smell like pumpkin pie. And now you can.