KANYE WEST COMPARES HIMSELF TO SOLDIERS AND COPS: KANYE WEST has said some pretty ridiculous things of late, but this might be the most ludicrous; 'Ye thinks the perils of being on tour are like those cops or soldiers face. In an interview over the weekend, West compared performing on stage to the dangers cops and soldiers face every day -- especially when he's on the fake mountain that takes up a big part of his stage.

"That mountain goes really, really high. And if I slipped ...You never know," he said. "I think about my family and I'm like, 'Wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something.' "You're literally going out to do your job every day knowing that something could happen to you."

Last month, TOM CRUISE was accused of claiming that movie making was as hard as being a soldier fighting in Afghanistan, but the difference is his comments were taken out of context, and that wasn't really what he meant.

And while Kanye likens himself to heroes ... baby mama KIM KARDASHIAN is seemingly comparing herself to a movie screen icon. Kim posted an image of herself on Instagram standing in front of a photograph of ELIZABETH TAYLOR while trying to recreate it.

LOHAN LUNACY UPDATE - BOOZE, DRUGS AT MIAMI PARTY: Pictures from inside the mansion where LINDSAY LOHAN partied and where PARIS HILTON'S brother Barron was assaulted in Miami have surfaced. TMZ reports that coke and booze were everywhere at the Miami party that ended with Barron Hilton’s beat down. There’s no word on who the drugs belonged to, but Lindsay’s team insists she stayed clean and sober the entire night. Even so,  Linds is on probation so just being at that party isn’t a good thing. (PHOTO) (PHOTO)

Meanwhile, the man accused of hitting Barron will likely be arrested, according to TMZ. Ray LeMoine, an alleged friend of Lohan, admitted to punching Barron three times during a party in Miami last week. Ray maintains he was trying to kick a drunk Barron out of his rented mansion when the fight occurred.

KATY PERRY TALKS BRAND SPLIT: KATY PERRY tackles two touchy subjects in the January 2014 issue of Marie Claire magazine: current boyfriend JOHN MAYER and former husband RUSSELL BRAND.

“There were two weeks of my life after I found out the truth of my marriage where I was like, 'OK. All right. I can't feel this. This is too intense right now,'" Perry said of the latter. "I was, like, just eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos and drinking, and that's it." As for what went wrong with her marriage, Katy says Brand, “really wanted me to have children and knew I wasn’t ready.” She adds, “I think it was a way of control. I think it was part of, ‘If I have a kid, then I would have to sacrifice – I’d have to be home more.’”

In fact ... her brief split from Mayer last March was because of Brand, explaining, “I still needed to deal with all of my ex-husband stuff. I hadn’t. It’s almost like if I kept talking about it, it would seem like I actually cared about it. I don’t.” But things are certainly better now for Perry and Mayer. “He’s just a fantastic partner. He’s got a brilliant, brilliant mind. It’s a rad, mature relationship.”

TODAY IN LADY GAGA FASHION: It's December, so of course LADY GAGA is going to dress up like a Christmas tree. Would you expect anything less?  (PHOTO) (PHOTO)

CELEBRITY COURT - LAMAR ODOM GETS PROBATION: KHLOE KARDASHIAN'S husband, LAMAR ODOM, was sentenced to three years of probation Monday after pleading no contest to DUI. Odom was arrested in August after driving erratically on a L.A. freeway and showing “objective signs of intoxication.” He refused to submit to a blood-alcohol test at the time and automatically had his driver’s license suspended for a year. In addition to probation, he'll be required to complete an alcohol education class and pay $1,814 in fees and fines.

Meanwhile ... Khloe appears to be reaching out to her estranged partner via social media again. A recent Instagram post by her appears to be some kind of desperate plea. The pair has not been spotted together in over a month, and Khloe hasn’t worn her wedding rings in more than two weeks.