You may have seen this UPS ad on TV or the internet in recent weeks. It features a local El Paso "business." Except that it doesn't. At all. #fakebiz

The commercial itself is simple. A local haberdashery (that's a fancy word for 'hat maker' that I learned because I apparently want people to hate me) wants to sell cowboy hats to customers around the globe -- but it can't because they don't have a way to convert U.S. dollars to Japanese yen. ¡Ay caramba!  UPS steps in and saves the day (because, you know, it's their commercial).

Except the haberdashery is totally fake. Like a haber-fakery. Or a faker-dashery. Let's get our handy, dandy notebooks kickin' and 'Blues Clues' this mutha, okay?

Nope. Not real.  (YouTube / UPS)

This is the business card used at the start of the commercial. Hank's Hats. I can tell you for sure there's NO Hank's Hats in El Paso. Mostly because the ZIP Code is 77991. (Also, I Googled it.)

I mean -- kudos -- that's pretty close to El Paso's local ZIP Codes -- 79901. Or even 79911. Except, you know, it's not.

77991 is in Jackson County, Texas. That's near Victoria, Texas. Which is kinda between San Antonio and Houston. Boom. Busted.

The smoking gun. (Google Maps)

Also, while there is a Swanson Drive in El Paso (near Canyon Hills Middle near Transmountain), there is no Swanson Street.

Finally, while they got the 915 area code right, their phone number prefix starts with 555 -- which is the fake phone number they use for Hollywood films. Also, I'd bet there's not even a little Japanese boy who wants a cowboy hat, either! NOTHING IS REAL AND TIME IS A FLAT CIRCLE!

An almost certainly fictional Japanese cowboy hat fan. (YouTube / UPS)

We're onto you, UPS. Y'all sketchy as hell.

(Well, okay, not really.)

I mean, think about it. In today's world, while it would be great to feature one of their actual clients in a commercial, it's really hard to do background checks on everyone. What if they used an actual El Paso haberdashery, and the very next week, that hat maker was arrested for doing God knows what? What if Hank turned out to be a pervert? What if his employees were lacing their hats with c'caine? What if the hats were made in a child-labor sweatshop in Fabens**? OH, THE IMAGINARY SCANDALS!

That would be major egg on UPS's face when all they wanted to do was turn your dollars in ducats. So, yeah, maybe making up a fake business is less of a liability for UPS than using a real one. I get it. You're off the hook, UPS. I forgive you.

Still, next time, give us a call and we can give you a real fake address. Like the one on my passport.

Wait, what? Huh? Never mind. I've said too much.

** -- To our knowledge, there are no child-labor sweatshops in Fabens ... yet.