CHRISTINA AGUILERA DID NOT PEE ON HERSELF NOR DID SHE HAVE A MENSTRUAL MALFUNCTION AT ETTA JAMES' FUNERAL: The Internet was on fire yesterday with CHRISTINA AGUILERA'S performance at ETTA JAMES' funeral this past weekend. And not because of her over blown singing either. It was over a mysterious substance that was caught on camera streaking down her legs.

People were speculating all kinds of gross -- like that she peed herself, that her monthly visitor had chosen that time to show up, and that she'd gotten in a quickie before taking the stage. Well, according to an 'Us' magazine "insider" it was the least gross explanation: "The sweat caused her spray tan to streak." Of course! Because famous or not, it's always important to have a tanned nether region!!

MADONNA VS. LADY GAGA - ROUND TWO!!! WHO YOU GOT???: Madonna's claws are out again. This time she reportedly stipulated that if she is going to attend anyone's Oscar parties, Lady Gaga can't be on the same guest list. A source told Showbiz Spy, "She doesn't usually act like this, even about bitter enemies such as Sean Penn and J. Lo." So what's the big deal about Lady Gaga being in the same room as her? The source claims that she didn't want to be forced into a photo-op with Gaga.

Madge started the whole thing when she began her promotional tour for her movie “W.E.” a few weeks ago and people asked her what she thought of Gaga's "Born This Way" which had sparked comparisons to "Express Yourself.” She responded by calling the track "reductive" and a "wonderful way to redo" her song.

ELTON JOHN VS MADONNA – ROUND TWO!!! WHO YOU GOT???: If you recall war between ELTON JOHN and MADONNA was declared a couple of weeks ago when prior to the Golden Globes, Elton told a reporter that Madonna had no bleeping chance of winning the Best Original Song award and followed it up by declaring that they weren’t fighting words, they were "accurate words." Later, when Madge was told of the comment, she replied, “Was he wearing a dress?” then added, "may the best man win.” That man ended up being Madonna.

Well, now, Elton has reignited everything in the form of some "friendly" advice to Madonna concerning her upcoming Super Bowl halftime show. After Elton told ABC News that he had never seen a decent halftime show, he encouraged Madonna's performance by saying, "Make sure you lip-sync good."

CELEBRITY TATTS: KYRA SEDGWICK showed off some new ink over the weekend. Kyra resisted the urge to go all 'thug life' like RIHANNA recently did, band instead went with the initials K, K, S and T on her ribcage. One K is for her and the other is for that lucky bastard husband KEVIN BACON. The S is for their 19-year-old daughter Sosie and the T is for their 22-year-old son Travis.