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Hollywood Dirt – Lindsay Lohan Serious about Banishing Booze, Rihanna Parties Half Nude + More

LINDSAY LOHAN MOCKS HARRY STYLES AND KRISTEN STEWART, POKES FUN AT HERSELF: LINDSAY LOHAN will be guest hosting tonight’s Chelsea Lately, and judging by the preview clips that found their way onto the Internet over the weekend she didn’t do a bad job at all. In one of the clips, Linds makes fun of the supposed bisexuality of HARRY STYLES from ONE DIRECTION before taking a shot at herself, saying, quote, “I’ve been there.”

Lindsay then busts on KRISTEN STEWART‘S recent run in with the paparazzi. After explaining that Kristen was caught on camera cussing out a photographer, she says, quote, “I’m just excited that Kristen Stewart, you know, finally showed some emotion.”

LINDSAY LOHAN BANISHES BOOZE: How serious is Lindsay about her sobriety? Enough that she won’t allow alcohol in her presence anymore. TMZ says LoHo plans to “stay clear of the hard stuff and not just in her home. We’re told she will make demands that hotel rooms, dressing rooms…even mama Dina’s home is alcohol free when she’s present.”

She’s already made good on her promise. Before checking in, Linds reportedly ordered the staff to remove alcohol from her room at the Beverly Hills Hotel last week. She also insisted that her dressing room at the Chelsea Lately show, where she guest-hosted, be stocked only with non-alcoholic drinks.

RIHANNA PARTIES LIKE A ROCK STAR IN BARBADOS: Never one to pass up an opportunity to have a good time, RIHANNA partied like a drunken stripper in her native Barbados over the weekend. (PHOTO) (PHOTO) (PHOTO) (PHOTO)

Videos posted to Instagram captured RiRi grabbing two hands full of a woman’s behind, and smoking funny cigarettes …

But if the photos and videos aren’t proof enough she had a had a great time, maybe her morning after Tweet will convince you …

TODAY IN CELEBRITY WARDROBE MISHAPS – ISLA FISHER/JENNIFER GARNER: (1.) A gust of wind blew up ISLA FISHER’S skirt exposing her gray undies. Boyshorts, I do believe.  (PHOTO) (PHOTO)

(2.) JENNIFER GARNER’S leg made an unscheduled, albeit sexy, appearance while leaving a doctor’s office on Friday. Please try not to slut-shame her. (PHOTO)

THE LATEST ON COWELL’S BABY MAMA DRAMA: SIMON COWELL’S baby mama and her estranged husband are in a war of words over her cheating. Friends of Lauren Silverman claim husband Andrew knew about her relationship with Simon, and never had an issue with it because he was out partying with other woman. Andrew’s peeps say that’s not true.

Meanwhile, sources tell London’s Daily Mail Simon actually dumped Lauren weeks ago, before he knew she was pregnant. “He and Lauren split up six weeks ago but the next thing we know he gets a phone call from her saying, ‘Guess what?’” claims a source. Even so, the insider adds, Cowell plans to stand by Lauren during her pregnancy.

HOW DOES A GUY KNOW KATY PERRY HAS PUT YOU IN THE FRIEND ZONE? SHE FARTS IN FRONT OF YOU: Despite KATY PERRY’S constant attempts to shoot down talk that she and Twilight star ROBERT PATTINSON are dating, the rumors persist. So Perry has been forced to go out of her way to prove their relationship is strictly platonic.

She told Elle UK, “Okay, so here’s the proof there was never anything going on with me and Robert Pattinson. I fart in front of him. Properly fart. And I never, ever fart in front of a man I am dating. That’s a rule. He’s my bud, I’m like his big sister.” Hmmm, does this mean she farts in front of all her friends or just Rob?

MILEY MOST CHEAT WORTHY: MILEY CYRUS has been voted the Most Cheat-Worthy Celebrity by the guys who use a notorious adult cheating site. About 22,000 men responded to the survey, 18.6% of which said Miley was the celebrity they’d most want to have an affair with. The average age of site’s users, by the way, is 44. Miley is 20.

Twitter

MILA KUNIS was second with 12.4% of the votes, followed by JENNIFER LAWRENCE, SOFIA VERGARA, and BEYONCE.

CELEBRITIES WITHOUT MAKEUP: JENNIFER ANISTON’S longtime hair stylist posted this pic he snapped of the 44-year-old without makeup …

Instagram

BABY POOP: A week after welcoming their second child, PENELOPE CRUZ and JAVIER BARDEM have finally decided on a name for their new daughter. And according to Spanish magazine Vanitatis, it’s Luna Encinas Cruz. Luna, of course, means moon while Encinas is Bardem’s first surname. Reps for the couple did not return People magazine’s request for comment so we’re going to have to take the Spanish mag’s word for it. Heck, Cruz and Bardem haven’t even officially confirmed there even was a birth!

CORY MONTEITH’S MOM THANKS FANS FOR THEIR SUPPORT: CORY MONTEITH’S mother has broken her silence for the first time since her son died last month. On Friday, Ann McGregor tweeted to her son’s fans …

On a related note … Cory’s girlfriend, LEA MICHELE seems to be getting on with her life. She was spotted Saturday with actress JOANNA GARCIA attending JAMIE-LYNN SIGLER‘S baby shower in Los Angeles. (PHOTO)

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