THE ASHTON KUTCHER SEX SCANDAL - ALLEGED MISTRESS SPEAKS OUT!!!: "Us Weekly" scored the first interview with ASHTON KUTCHER'S alleged mistress Sara Leal. And here's a shocker: she says she and Ashton sooo did it. TWICE. Sara tells "Us" Ash puts the moves on her. Quote, "[He] just came up and kissed me." That eventually led to her and another girl being naked in a hot tub with Ashton on his hotel room balcony, which then led to her and Ashton bumping uglies.

So how was it? She says, quote, "He was good. It wasn't weird or perverted." And it wasn't safe, either. Ashton did not cover his thing up!!! After a repeat performance, Leal says they talked about astrology, religion, love and politics. Ashton supposedly told her post-coital that he enjoyed their talk because, quote, "I'm an actor 90 percent of the time and it's fake." He added, "It's nice to have moments that are real."

Leal also confirmed something we'd already heard before, that Ashton told her he and DEMI MOORE were separated. Oh, and lest you believe the rumors that she's some kind of loose party girl, Sara says it was her first one night stand ever.

ASHTON TWEETS DEMI A MESSAGE: This past Monday night, Ashton Kutcher's  "Two and a Half Men" was on opposite DEMI MOORE'S Lifetime movie about breast cancer, and Ashton put on his supportive husband face and Tweeted, quote, "Big night for TV #twoandahalfmen Bears vs Lions and @mrskutcher's 5. My tivo might explode." Then he added, "Good luck tonight! You should be proud." Demi tweeted herself, about the movie though. She never acknowledged the messages from her hubby.

WHO'S THE CELEBRITY CUTIE PATOOTIE???: Who's the former teen drama actress married to a powerful A-List actor caught bent over while wearing a loose-neck shirt by the always intrusive paparazzi cameras? Scroll down to the "bottom" for the answer ...

RIHANNA IS SEXIEST WOMAN ALIVE: RIHANNA has been named the Sexiest Woman Alive by "Esquire" magazine. Not surprisingly, Rihanna posed nude for the magazine. With all of her naughty bits strategically covered, of course.

In Rihanna's accompanying interview, she regurgitates the usual I-don't-think-about-being-sexy clichéd stuff that chicks who always think about being sexy say. Far more interesting is what Rihanna had to say about CHRIS BROWN. Quote, "It's incredible to see how he pulled out of it the way he did," referrring to the beat down he gave her. "Even when the world seemed like it was against him, you know? I'm really excited to see the breakthrough he's had in his career. I would never wish anything horrible for him. Never. I never have."


DANCING WITH THE STARS - CHYNNA PHILLIPS OUT: Singer CHYNNA PHILLIPS of Wilson Phillips fame was sent home on last night's "Dancing With the Stars". The night before, Phillips lost her place during a tango, and got the low score of 21. ROB KARDASHIAN and NANCY GRACE joined Chynna in the bottom three. So you know what this means, right? CHAZ BONO lives to dance for you again, America!!!

On a personal note, I was disappointed to see Chynna get sent home. She was easily one of the best dancers, as was KRISTIN CAVALLARI who was sent packing last week. As hard as Chaz is trying and as much as he pours his heart into it every week, the cold, hard, LGBT-unfriendly truth is that he's a bad dancer.

And how long can a dancing show survive with a cast of crappy dancers? Chaz, CARSON KRESSLEY, NANCY GRACE, DAVID ARQUETTE … they’re all pretty bad. No where near the level Chynna and Kristin were at. It saddens me that "Dancing" has become not just a popularity contest, but a sham. A SHAM I tells you!!! OCCUPY ABC!!! ATTICA!!!

ROMANCE REPORT - DEREK JETER AND MINKA KELLY REUNITE: Word is now that his ball playing commitments are over thanks to the Yankees playoff loss, DEREK JETER is trying to get back together with ex-girlfriend MINK KELLY. According to the New York Post, Jeter flew down to Miami Sunday to meet with Minka who has relocated there while “Charlie’s Angels” is filming. "They met up to try and figure it out," a source tells the paper. "They are trying to see what the future holds for them. They may eventually get back together."

Previous reports claimed that Minka had already moved on with her Angels co-star Ramon Rodriguez, but a source insists "they are simply just friends. There's nothing beyond that."

MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS - CORONER SAYS IT’S UNLIKELY MJ KILLED HIMSELF: The coroner who performed the autopsy on MICHAEL JACKSON took the stand yesterday in the Conrad Murray involuntary manslaughter trial, and basically shot down the defense’s theory that Jackson gave himself the does of propofol that ultimately killed him.

Dr. Christopher Rogers testified it was more likely Murray was responsible for the singer’s overdose when he incorrectly estimated how much of the drug he was giving Jackson to induce sleep. You can read a more detailed synopsis HERE.

BABY POOP: It's a girl for TORI SPELLING and DEAN McDERMOTT. The couple's third child, whom they named Hattie Margaret McDermott, was born Monday.

2. "Jackass" JOHNNY KNOXVILLE and wife Naomi Nelson welcomed their second child last week, daughter Arlo.

3. OZZY OSBOURNE is going to be a granpa! Two weeks after announcing his engagement, JACK OSBOURNE announced he's going to be a father. It'll be the first child for Ozzy's 25-year-old son and fiancee Lisa Stelly.

SHOW BIZ QUICKIES: JESSICA ALBA is suing a company that sells a weight-loss device for new mothers. She claims the company used her name and likeness without permission to sell the Belly Bandit. Jessica's looking for more than a million dollars in damages and a portion of the profits.

2. JONAH HILL isn't only shedding weight. He’s reportedly split with his longtime girlfriend. A source tells Life & Style, "They decided to break up, although everyone thought these two would be heading toward marriage."

3. ROSIE O’DONNELL’s debut on OWN is being called a flop. “The Rosie Show” only drew 497,000 viewers for its premiere Monday night.

WHO'S THE CELEBRITY CUTIE PATOOTIE???: So who’s the former teen drama actress was caught on camera bent over while wearing a loose-neck shirt?

Did you guess KATIE HOLMES???!!!